she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
