any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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