Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
