oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
