420 ftw
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
