How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
