what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
