Dual....:-)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
