am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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