just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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