So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
