Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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