we have officially lost it.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
well you can't waste a boner
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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