erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
