3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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