Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
