I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
