This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
