I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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