My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
