i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
