you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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