Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
