We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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