Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
