i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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