His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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