I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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