Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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