SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
