Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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