i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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