I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
