whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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