I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
