I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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