I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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