so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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