Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
