Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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