if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We don't watch enough power rangers
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
