I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
