All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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