Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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