We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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