I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
