Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
they need to just BURY HIM!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
