If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
