thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
