Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
