just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
birth control should be required to get into college
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
