omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize