is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
people are starting to question the shark bite story
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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