For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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