My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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