Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
