just come out here and I will go home with you...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
