Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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