I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
