Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes

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(519): View more from Ontario

Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb

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(732): View more from New Jersey

It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.

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