I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
