He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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