Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
