I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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